He did it again today. Mummy had gone out and it was just two of us left in the house. I was in the kitchen cleaning the snails she asked me to clean before she came back. There were 65 pieces of them and I hadn't even gone halfway yet but I was tired already. I was on the 12th one when he shouted my name from his room,
"Ronke! Ronke!!. Are you deaf?. Are you not in this house?"
I dropped the snail I was holding at once and sprinted to his room. I could have won an Olympic race with that speed.
"sir?"
"You this cursed child.Didn't you hear me shouting your name? I've been calling you for the past one hour and you pretended not to hear me abi? let your mother come back first you insolent brat."
"Daddy I'm sorry sir, but I answered as soon as I heard my name"
"You bastardchild! Are you calling me a liar? Ko ni da fun e. I will show u pepper today. First of all have you taken your bath today?"
"Yes sir"
"Very good. Oya take off your clothes na, abi you want me to be telling you everything ni? silly idiot."
"Daddy please. Please sir. I'm not feeling very well today."
"I think there's something wrong in your medulla. Oh I see, your mother has started teaching you how to be rude abi? What does the bible say about obeying your parents?"
"Daddy please. I beg you in the name of God"
"Omo oshi ni e oh. Oya before i open my eyes I want to see those two things on your chest staring at me without respect."
He started walking to the back of his wardrobe. I knew what was coming next. I knew he was going to bring out his cane and flog the daylight out of me so I took off my clothes as fast as I could and closed my eyes to the horror that was coming next.
He came so close to me that I could smell his garlic breath as he spoke. "You are even better than your Mother."
He always started with those words.
Then I felt his cold hands on my bare skin. The terror had only just begun but this time I would not feel the pain. I would not feel the terror. I transported myself to the place I wanted to be. A place where the flowers were bright and colorful and the birds sang so sweetly and the breeze was fresh and calm. "Before you know it, it'll be over", I told myself.
But I still felt the pain. My Mother married a beast.
Friday, 14 October 2011
Sunday, 17 July 2011
I.T WAHALA
I'm really getting tired of this IT thing. Staying at home for 6 months is no easy thing especially when you're in my kind of house. At first the thought of staying at home for that long was exhilarating but now it's just tiring. I mean I'm glad i didn't have to go to that school (you know where) for that long but now I'm just yearning for It to end.I've had numerous experiences these past few months.It's not been bad all the way though, in fact,it's been worth it.
On my first day of work, I was so excited that i almost didn't sleep the night before. Even in school when we have to get up at 3.a.m and start walking like zombies to FT on Sundays for service,i never get my clothes ready the night before,oh please, I'm young and i cannot kill myself abeg.Jesus understands. But this time, i had ironed my clothes down the night before and by 4a.m I was already awake! I was that excited.
So i got to work that day and may i mention that i was actually late on my first day of work! But they didn't care, with time i soon discovered that they didn't even care if i came to work every day of the week or not as long as i worked well on the days i went and trust me, i took advantage of that and used it well...i don't dull *wink*. Everybody was nice to me except the only female working working there. i don't know why that woman just loathed me at first sight. And as for me, i didn't even mind her. so the first day was good, I enjoyed it and i was eager to work but as time went on, it became tiring and i started 'stabbing' more.
At first all the men there were behaving like they had never seen a member of the female specie before! Always staring at me, at a point my confidence level rose because i began to feel like i was prettier than Miss world. Then they kept on asking for my number and I gave them all fake numbers but funny enough no one had the guts to question me about it. Maybe they didn't even bother to try the numbers sef and i'm just here hyping myself. After a while, everybody stopped staring at me and asking for my number. i became 'stale gist'..i quite miss the attention in a funny way though.lol.
Anyways, I've learned many things during this it period. For one, i am now a professional 'busser'. lol. I can bus it anywhere mayne, nothing do me. Well, just because you have a driver that takes you to work and brings you back, it doesn't mean you're any less RAZZ. *rme* And sometimes, I'd form gangster and bike all the way and my skirts tore a few times at the back,embarrassingly;but just a few days ago, I made an exhilarating discovery on how to climb bikes with skirt and I've been so excited with that discovery that I've worn a skirt everyday since then and taken a bike too and each time i climb d bike successfully without tearing my skirt, i have this goofy smile of accomplishment on my face. I'm not telling you the secret though!
One other thing I have learned is never to ask the conductor for your change in polished English because he'll just ignore you and try to intimidate you. They have done it to me a number of times and it wasn't until I learnt how to speak pidgin and say 'shange' that I started getting my complete change.
In all, it's been a wonderful experience,I've had fun, and learned many things but this is the part where this experience has to come to an end! I am tired of waking up at 5a.m and going to work my ass off. I am tired of siting in dirty buses with different smells and not knowing when the next person would shove his armpit in my pretty little nose(it's quite huge). I just want it to come to an end and go back to my easy, fresh life!
On my first day of work, I was so excited that i almost didn't sleep the night before. Even in school when we have to get up at 3.a.m and start walking like zombies to FT on Sundays for service,i never get my clothes ready the night before,oh please, I'm young and i cannot kill myself abeg.Jesus understands. But this time, i had ironed my clothes down the night before and by 4a.m I was already awake! I was that excited.
So i got to work that day and may i mention that i was actually late on my first day of work! But they didn't care, with time i soon discovered that they didn't even care if i came to work every day of the week or not as long as i worked well on the days i went and trust me, i took advantage of that and used it well...i don't dull *wink*. Everybody was nice to me except the only female working working there. i don't know why that woman just loathed me at first sight. And as for me, i didn't even mind her. so the first day was good, I enjoyed it and i was eager to work but as time went on, it became tiring and i started 'stabbing' more.
At first all the men there were behaving like they had never seen a member of the female specie before! Always staring at me, at a point my confidence level rose because i began to feel like i was prettier than Miss world. Then they kept on asking for my number and I gave them all fake numbers but funny enough no one had the guts to question me about it. Maybe they didn't even bother to try the numbers sef and i'm just here hyping myself. After a while, everybody stopped staring at me and asking for my number. i became 'stale gist'..i quite miss the attention in a funny way though.lol.
Anyways, I've learned many things during this it period. For one, i am now a professional 'busser'. lol. I can bus it anywhere mayne, nothing do me. Well, just because you have a driver that takes you to work and brings you back, it doesn't mean you're any less RAZZ. *rme* And sometimes, I'd form gangster and bike all the way and my skirts tore a few times at the back,embarrassingly;but just a few days ago, I made an exhilarating discovery on how to climb bikes with skirt and I've been so excited with that discovery that I've worn a skirt everyday since then and taken a bike too and each time i climb d bike successfully without tearing my skirt, i have this goofy smile of accomplishment on my face. I'm not telling you the secret though!
One other thing I have learned is never to ask the conductor for your change in polished English because he'll just ignore you and try to intimidate you. They have done it to me a number of times and it wasn't until I learnt how to speak pidgin and say 'shange' that I started getting my complete change.
In all, it's been a wonderful experience,I've had fun, and learned many things but this is the part where this experience has to come to an end! I am tired of waking up at 5a.m and going to work my ass off. I am tired of siting in dirty buses with different smells and not knowing when the next person would shove his armpit in my pretty little nose(it's quite huge). I just want it to come to an end and go back to my easy, fresh life!
Friday, 8 July 2011
ARISTOcrats...
...THEY COME IN BLACK AND YELLOWS....
So i'm sitting in this very posh restaurant at this very posh hotel..four points! Hehe. I know many people have been dreaming of going there to have lunch or dinner or something and i'm here fulfilling that dream for you. Let's face facts, the closest you'll get to eating in a posh place is sheraton.lol. dont be sad. What about CU students that are not lucky enough. The closest they get is mokland hotel. Like really. What a pirry. the building itself is DEAD! I wonder how it'll look inside.I swear i've never been there oh so stop making that face at me...lol...I only see the building at the beginning and end of the semester when my father drops me and picks me up.
So as i was saying,i'm having lunch with my friends at this restaurant,(by the way i'm the one paying so you can like to respect me mhan. #money speaks) and then a car stops right in front of the door with this screeching sound so wee all turned to look expecting to see a very posh car .Lo and behold it was a yellow and black taxi. As in!And it wasn't even a fresh one at that. it was rugged.then the freshest,finest girl ever(after me) stepped out of this rugged cab. Her dress looked very expensive and it looked like a professional make up artist did her make up just for that afternoon. my friends and i had stopped eating at this point.we were just staring so you can imagine what the men around were doing.
okay so she brings out her blackberry torch and dials a number and then this fresh, fine Alhaji who had come earlier in a white hummer and probably has five wives at home with at least 25 children but obviously has excess money to cater to aristocrats picked up his phone,walked outside and paid the cab man. Then the babe says, "baby just gimme a second and i'll meet you inside". My friend's fork fell on the floor at this point!imagine!calling a fifty-something man 'baby' ke?!..Anyways, "baby" comes back into the restaurant and then the girl collects part of the money back from the driver.i'm sure they planned it from the beginning.She cannot carry last.Her head is there jare. she finally comes in,they eat and then they're touching each other and kissing and doing mushy stuff right there in the restaurant..At this point my friends and i have started eating again but we're putting food in the wrong places.lol. Finally "baby" and fresh babe pick themselves up and leave and i'm just wondering that if this girl really makes so much money to take care of herself from this her aristo business then why doesnt she have her own car?why is she still jumping black and yellows up and down? Oh i forgot, mummy and daddy must not know. #lowkey.
....AND LEAVE IN HUMMERS.....
So as i was saying,i'm having lunch with my friends at this restaurant,(by the way i'm the one paying so you can like to respect me mhan. #money speaks) and then a car stops right in front of the door with this screeching sound so wee all turned to look expecting to see a very posh car .Lo and behold it was a yellow and black taxi. As in!And it wasn't even a fresh one at that. it was rugged.then the freshest,finest girl ever(after me) stepped out of this rugged cab. Her dress looked very expensive and it looked like a professional make up artist did her make up just for that afternoon. my friends and i had stopped eating at this point.we were just staring so you can imagine what the men around were doing.
okay so she brings out her blackberry torch and dials a number and then this fresh, fine Alhaji who had come earlier in a white hummer and probably has five wives at home with at least 25 children but obviously has excess money to cater to aristocrats picked up his phone,walked outside and paid the cab man. Then the babe says, "baby just gimme a second and i'll meet you inside". My friend's fork fell on the floor at this point!imagine!calling a fifty-something man 'baby' ke?!..Anyways, "baby" comes back into the restaurant and then the girl collects part of the money back from the driver.i'm sure they planned it from the beginning.She cannot carry last.Her head is there jare. she finally comes in,they eat and then they're touching each other and kissing and doing mushy stuff right there in the restaurant..At this point my friends and i have started eating again but we're putting food in the wrong places.lol. Finally "baby" and fresh babe pick themselves up and leave and i'm just wondering that if this girl really makes so much money to take care of herself from this her aristo business then why doesnt she have her own car?why is she still jumping black and yellows up and down? Oh i forgot, mummy and daddy must not know. #lowkey.
Sunday, 3 July 2011
BEAUTY OR BRAINS???
........BABY I WAS BORN THIS WAY!....
Then i can like to meet your morra to confirm that lady gaga...like seriously,if people actually gave birth to children with clothes and all,i wouldn't want to be born with all those gaga stuffs,,lol.nobody would even carry me sef.you know how people go, 'awww...your baby is sooo cuute!lemme hold her.' For me,they'll just go, 'oh,that's your baby?' lmao....dont worry, i know what she was really talking about,or do i?
okay,so really,which would you rather have? beauty or brains? Well,some people are very lucky,they've got both...errm..did you just call my name? *nowblushing*...okay, okay,it's okay. i know i'm smart and beautiful.hehehe...but really, what's a fine girl without brains? no one is saying you have to be geeky or you have to be on a first class,but at least when you open your mouth to talk,make sure what comes out of that God-given opening of yours makes sense. i can tell you that i've met many pretty girls in my life.but when they opened their mouth to talk, i'm like "oh dear,why you?". seriously.i can imagine how some guys feel when they sight a very beautiful babe from far.some jelly fish who have no backbone might have even be scoping her for days or weeks trying to figure out in that little head of theirs the best way to approach her and when they're finally gingered up they go to her and then the level of the stupidity of her utterances makes them almost begin to question God.
I once heard a very pretty girl ask, 'uhm, please is Tanzania in Africa?. if being daft is the price to pay for extreme beauty,some girls would rather stay ugly...would i though??lol... very tough decision. But then again,some very smart girls would give anything to have that beauty. you just meet some very smart girls with faces u don't pray to dream of and you just wonder, 'how did you become so unlucky?''..it's really painful.its like their smartness goes unnoticed and so they feel like they don't exist. it's just sad.Nowadays,nobody even wants to hear you speak before they judge you. your appearance now determines whether or not you'll be accepted in the society.it's just very sad...even though i already got both,if i had to choose,it'll be beauty over brains baby!i must not go unnoticed in this world! lol.
soooo...which would you rather have?
Then i can like to meet your morra to confirm that lady gaga...like seriously,if people actually gave birth to children with clothes and all,i wouldn't want to be born with all those gaga stuffs,,lol.nobody would even carry me sef.you know how people go, 'awww...your baby is sooo cuute!lemme hold her.' For me,they'll just go, 'oh,that's your baby?' lmao....dont worry, i know what she was really talking about,or do i?
okay,so really,which would you rather have? beauty or brains? Well,some people are very lucky,they've got both...errm..did you just call my name? *nowblushing*...okay, okay,it's okay. i know i'm smart and beautiful.hehehe...but really, what's a fine girl without brains? no one is saying you have to be geeky or you have to be on a first class,but at least when you open your mouth to talk,make sure what comes out of that God-given opening of yours makes sense. i can tell you that i've met many pretty girls in my life.but when they opened their mouth to talk, i'm like "oh dear,why you?". seriously.i can imagine how some guys feel when they sight a very beautiful babe from far.some jelly fish who have no backbone might have even be scoping her for days or weeks trying to figure out in that little head of theirs the best way to approach her and when they're finally gingered up they go to her and then the level of the stupidity of her utterances makes them almost begin to question God.
I once heard a very pretty girl ask, 'uhm, please is Tanzania in Africa?. if being daft is the price to pay for extreme beauty,some girls would rather stay ugly...would i though??lol... very tough decision. But then again,some very smart girls would give anything to have that beauty. you just meet some very smart girls with faces u don't pray to dream of and you just wonder, 'how did you become so unlucky?''..it's really painful.its like their smartness goes unnoticed and so they feel like they don't exist. it's just sad.Nowadays,nobody even wants to hear you speak before they judge you. your appearance now determines whether or not you'll be accepted in the society.it's just very sad...even though i already got both,if i had to choose,it'll be beauty over brains baby!i must not go unnoticed in this world! lol.
soooo...which would you rather have?
Wednesday, 29 June 2011
GIRLS;REVEALED!!
Who run the world??!!
Lmao..for real?like what was beyonce thinking?..i expected more from her.okay the beat is mad and the video is crazy.my mum watched it and said, "this girl must be an igbo girl.maybe her great grandfather is from anambra.she dances like them." i couldn't stop laughing when she said that. like seriously? But really she shoulda left that kinda song for the juvies in the industry.As much as i like to criticize her though,i still find my self humming the song and actually shaking my ass and head to it...yes,i do.soo shoot me!
Anyways what i really planned to blog about is girls and our needs. i really don't think we run the world yeah,but in a very funny way,i still think we do...i should make up my mind right?! maybe at the end of this post i would have done that.okay let's start with our quest to own many,if not all the things in this world. lol.we always know what we want and we definitely know how to get them.is it by putting "omg!this my phone is just messing up" as our personal message on bbm hoping that our boyfriends see it and take a cue that we ''want" not "need" a new phone because our "best friend's" boyfriend just bought her a new one and we're in some sort of silent competition and then when our "baby" finally sees it and talks to us about it we go, "i'm even thinking of buying a new one but its torch i want to get,i don't like typing with keypads,but i don't have the money yet so i'll just wait and hope to God but that means i won't have a phone for a while"..will you shattap there! everyone knows your phone is hale and hearty but the sweet boy friend obviously won't want his wifey to be without a phone so of course he buys it and she acts like she's surprised meanwhile she's been thinking to herself for the past few weeks that 'why is this boy wasting time na?' but really why cant we just say,"baby,felicia's boyfriend just got her a white torch and i'm still using a white bold so could you please get me a red torch cos i'm jealous of her right now?"....oh,yeah,i forgot.that would just make us sound bitchy.
And that's not even all.we girls are very cunny.i'm sure the tortoise our grandparents used to tell us about in their stories were all female really.....i even do some of these things too yeah,but with good intentions *winks*. there are so many things that girls around me do,i cant even begin to list them all now.maybe tomorrow though! but meanwhile,please feel free to leave your comments. muah!
Lmao..for real?like what was beyonce thinking?..i expected more from her.okay the beat is mad and the video is crazy.my mum watched it and said, "this girl must be an igbo girl.maybe her great grandfather is from anambra.she dances like them." i couldn't stop laughing when she said that. like seriously? But really she shoulda left that kinda song for the juvies in the industry.As much as i like to criticize her though,i still find my self humming the song and actually shaking my ass and head to it...yes,i do.soo shoot me!
Anyways what i really planned to blog about is girls and our needs. i really don't think we run the world yeah,but in a very funny way,i still think we do...i should make up my mind right?! maybe at the end of this post i would have done that.okay let's start with our quest to own many,if not all the things in this world. lol.we always know what we want and we definitely know how to get them.is it by putting "omg!this my phone is just messing up" as our personal message on bbm hoping that our boyfriends see it and take a cue that we ''want" not "need" a new phone because our "best friend's" boyfriend just bought her a new one and we're in some sort of silent competition and then when our "baby" finally sees it and talks to us about it we go, "i'm even thinking of buying a new one but its torch i want to get,i don't like typing with keypads,but i don't have the money yet so i'll just wait and hope to God but that means i won't have a phone for a while"..will you shattap there! everyone knows your phone is hale and hearty but the sweet boy friend obviously won't want his wifey to be without a phone so of course he buys it and she acts like she's surprised meanwhile she's been thinking to herself for the past few weeks that 'why is this boy wasting time na?' but really why cant we just say,"baby,felicia's boyfriend just got her a white torch and i'm still using a white bold so could you please get me a red torch cos i'm jealous of her right now?"....oh,yeah,i forgot.that would just make us sound bitchy.
And that's not even all.we girls are very cunny.i'm sure the tortoise our grandparents used to tell us about in their stories were all female really.....i even do some of these things too yeah,but with good intentions *winks*. there are so many things that girls around me do,i cant even begin to list them all now.maybe tomorrow though! but meanwhile,please feel free to leave your comments. muah!
Saturday, 23 April 2011
my first post!
okay so this is my very first post since i just created this blog!..whoa!
dont worry people it's gonna be a very interesting one,i'll try my best to make it fun.you all should just follow and make it interesting.
<3<3...ciao!
dont worry people it's gonna be a very interesting one,i'll try my best to make it fun.you all should just follow and make it interesting.
<3<3...ciao!
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